Damn you, Zach Braff

I hate it when a famous person writes a blog. I mean, like I need competition from famous writers and comedians, and actors, and newspaper columnists, and stuff. And I really hate it when these "bloggers" get hundreds of comments on their "blogs"--because that means that thousands of people are reading their lame-ass blogs instead of my astonishingly perfect blog.*

But, let me tell you, nothing makes me angrier than when an actor/writer/director type guy writes a really great blog that's funny as hell and insightful and interesting and did I mention funny too. And, what's worse, this actor/writer/director type guy stole a great blog entry idea from me! Last night, after watching some Olympic beach volleyball porn I was going to write a scathing and maybe even funny story about it. You know, the type of thing where I wonder why David Hasselhoff isn't the referee and I muse on how the cameramen often miss showing where the spike landed but manage to get every ass-shot available. But there's a critique already there in Garden State, only probably a bit funnier than I would have come up with. Damn you Zach Braff.

* please note, dear reader, this bitter introduction is merely a literary device I am using in order to surprise you with my second paragraph, kind of, in some sort of way. I don't know what the device is called, but, dammit, I'm going to be teaching it to all my students this year.