Family Matters

Well, as some of you already know, today I joined the Saturn family. And, as I prepared to write this blog entry, I realized that one cool thing about buying a new Saturn Ion is that I can blog about it. If I had bought a BMW Convertible or a Jaguar then blogging about it would certainly be seen as self-indulgent and self-aggrandizing. But the Saturn, like me, is humble and modest. And all I can say is that their commercials are reasonably accurate. Far fewer hassles and insidiousness than your typical car salespeople types. One example from our recent visit to another dealer (let's call it Tonyota so as not to besmirch any reputations):

US (or is it WE): How is this car's safety? Tonyota: WHAT DO YOU MEAN????? US: Well, how safe is it compared to other cars? Tonyota: IT HAS A 5 STAR RATING!! (Thanks, Tonyota)

US: Well, we're going to look at some other cars and then make a decision. Tonyota: Well, I'd recommend not test-driving too many cars. You'll just get confused and not remember anything.

And from the "Nice Travel" Used Car place:

US: It was a nice car, but the brakes seemed kind of touchy. Nice Travel Used Car Guy: Hrmmph, I drove the car just last night and the brakes were fine. Maybe you're just not used to them.

So, at any rate, I have a new car and I'm ecstatic. Ela, my beloved 11 year-old, is happy that she is moving on to another loving home. And all is good.

But, if you think this blog entry is over, you are sadly mistaken.

Here is a conversation I had with Dee earlier today:

Dee: Where did the legend of the Loch Ness Monster come from?

Me: Well, a lot of people have claimed to see it. The first person who did was a saint. I think it was St. Colbum... St. Comull... St. Collum... I think it was St. Columba, but I'll have to check. (editors note: it was St. Columba, in 565 AD. cha-chang)

Dee: Hmm, you hafta be dead to be a saint.

Me: Yes, that's true. He wasn't made a saint until after he died of course...

Dee: And you hafta be dead to be on money.

Me: Hehe, um, yeah, I guess that's true too.

Dee: Why isn't Martin Luther King on any money? (okay, can I just say right here that I'm levelled with joy. I love you Dee.)

Me: Well, um, they only put former presidents on money.

Dee: They didn't do that with the ten dollar bill.

Me: Oh, yeah, um, Alexander Hamilton. That's right. (I really thought it would be a while before Dee knew more than me about anything [beside Yu-Gi-Oh cards], but I was wrong) He was the, um, first Secretary of the Treasury. You know, they make the money and, um, keep track of it and stuff.

Dee: Was he good or was he bad?

Me: He was, um, I believe he did a lot of good things. (Okay, I'm thinking I vaguely remember he was a royalist or something, but, at best, I'm treading water here).

Dee: What about Big Foot?

Me: Huh?

Dee: The legend of Big Foot. What's that?

Me: Um, I think Big Foot is a big creature, not human, that lives in the woods, the mountains--far, far from here.

Dee: Why is he called Big Foot?

Me: Well i know that someone pretended to see him and used these "big foot" imprints (thank you, Leonard Nimoy) to pretend he saw it and to try to fool people.

Dee: Why would someone do that?

Me: I don't know Dee. Some people like to get attention in strange ways.

Dee: I thought he was called "Big Foot" because he had one foot that was a lot bigger than the other.

Me: That would be a cool monster, but that's not what it was.

Dee: Oh.

Me: So, um, do you like my new car?

Dee: Yeah, it's nice.

Me: You know, if I keep it as long as I kept my last car, you might be driving it someday.

Dee's eyes light up and a big smile ignites across his face and I suddenly, at the same time, feel time slipping away from me. In just eight and a half years he'll be driving. Oh my god!